Whenever I get upset or frustrated I tend to try and work it off physically or else eat it away using chocolate and donuts. Today I used a combination of the two. Probably the worst thing for my health that I could do and yet I did it knowing very well that a muscle relaxer and extra pain pill I'll need tomorrow are going to make me one VERY messed up young lady.
When I woke up this morning I literally started to tear up over how much pain it caused me just to move to shut the alarm off next to my bed. The kind of pain where you moan out load no matter how used to the pain you are? I DID sleep in which was good but then the day just got worse and worse. I had a guy I was interested in basically "dump" me for God.... you laugh but apparently it's possible. Being jealous of God... now there's a new one. I think It actually hurts more than if it'd been another girl or him turning gay. Story of my life I guess though. I swear it has to be me. No way was that just God killing the relationship. Five bucks says I said something or did something to bug the guy.
So because I was disappointed and also trying to figure out how to get back to being just friends when I like him, I decided walking back bay in the crummy weather was a good idea. I got a mile into it when my leg gave out and my back wrenched. So i walked the miserable mile back to my car and drove to hannaford for some healthy food (trying to offset my stupidity) I go to eat the berries I bought and see that there's mold on some of the ones in the middle of the container. Appetite immediately gone and I'm disgusted. A friend of mine mentions meeting up at work early to eat supper together. I went over to my friend's BK and got some junk food figuring oh well at this point I need some comfort food. I get to work and realize that they forgot half my meal/ screwed up half my meal. At this point my day was utter shit.
I was scheduled to be on the floor for floor guard duty ( I work at a Roller Skating Rink) So I threw my skates on and skated really hard all night trying to burn off some emotions. Probably wouldn't have as much if the guy wasn't texting me telling me what a great find I was.... yeah really great find... so great that now you're consoling me with "all my female friends have found husbands by hanging around me" .... thank you... you're now saying you'll hitch me up with someone. Damn. And through all of this the pain levels were rising and rising. THEN I went to go pick up a ticket off the floor and slipped backwards because of my back and leg issue. Totally wrenched my arm attempting to stop my fall.
My day has been shit. Utter shit. Not that mediocre crap, SHIT.... And I have to be honest 90% of the problems I had were based on my own decisions. Actually all of them. Because I should know better than to work too hard, eat junk food, buy fruit at a supermarket that ALWAYS gives me issues, or trust someone. All stupid ideas and all things I continue to do. So now I am off to la la land and desperately praying to God hoping he has pity on me and gives me an okay pain day tomorrow. After all i think today was punishment enough for whatever I must of done wrong.
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