Fly Away

The sun is shining and the skies are clear,
but inside I'm fighting. Battling fear.
Cause I know that it's there. Right under my skin.
Ready to pop up and I never knew when.
Like a ghost in the night it's stolen my dreams.
It feeds on the anguish, devouring my screams.
Nobody sees it. No one can tell.
I may look like I'm healthy, It's my own secret hell.
How incredibly ironic, such a sting of irony.
I'm terrified of pain. But the pain's a part of me.
It's always there riding up on my shoulder.
Keeping the sun off my face, making me colder.
A phantom that plagues me that I can't comprehend.
I can't see a future where I'm fast on the mend.
I'm begging for healing. Praying for aid.
Asking for Help, hoping I won't continue to fade.
I'm laughing and smiling like the world's quite alright.
But I'm terrified of the shadows, the whispers at night.
When I look in the mirror there's no me to see.
Just a facade, a cheap imitation that's liked much more than me
Everyone loves her. Thinks that she's grand.
While I'm behind the mask screaming, I don't understand!
Why is this happening? I want my life back!
Why suffer for a lifetime? Why not a quick heart attack?
I'm whining Lord and I hope that i'm not a regret.
I'm trying so hard to be patient, to try not to fret.
So please hold me gently. Soothe this troubled mind.
If you could make me unconscious  it'd be ever so kind.
Just let me drift awhile. Let me find some relief.
Help me hold onto my sanity, strengthen my belief.
That way when everything fails and everyone's gone.
I'll have you to cling to. You to help me hold on.
As the medicine dulls me and I start to drift away.
I thank you for this journey and another new day.
You're my bastion of strength and you sing me to sleep.
Watch over me Lord. Bring me back from the deep.